What Type of Parent Are You?

What Type of Parent Are You?

What type of parent are you?  There are so many parents out there.  There are the pediatrician parents or by the book parents, who do literally everything by the internet or what the books or doctors tell them to do.  Word by word.  There are the no discipline parents who believe in no discipline.  I DO NOT GET THESE PARENTS.  Sorry if you are one.  I can't handle it.  Oh it's cool if your two year old rips his hands through the blue b-day cake.  True story.  "He is just having fun."  My girls would be in a major TIME OUT for that! Not only is that disgusting but rude and just plain bad.  I may be too strict at times but guess what....my kids have never asked for anything at a store, YET...  and have never thrown a fit leaving anywhere.  Kids with discipline act appropriately, period and are welcome to other people's homes.  I know plenty that are not and they are not welcome here.  Sorry.  Trashing my home is not "just playing."  I was a teacher for 7 years and I think the teacher comes out of me.  Kids need structure and discipline to feel loved and comfortable in their environment.  They need structure.  

Then there are the parents who believe in organic only, veggies grown in their own garden, natural juices, homemade food, and only shop at Whole Foods.  They are natural and creative.  They don't believe in doctors or shots or hospitals.  They even go to the extent that throwing a fit is a way for their child to show thier "creative" side.  Oh I won't go on from there.  Sorry but these are usually stay at home moms.  Single moms that work  55 hours a week with a 1-2 hour commute not happening.  Sounds great though...

Then there are parents who rule from their own gut.  Do we need a carseat?  My parents never used one and I am fine?  How did my Mom do it?  Did I die?  Did I turn out okay?  Like walking to school.  Coming home on my own at age 8 from the bus and my parents came home at 6 or so.  I learned independence and how to be self sufficient at a young age.  However I also had my sister at home but she was only a year older?  

Then there are the over protective parents.  I am certainly stunned by these.  In fear that if their child leaves their side they will be kidnapped, rapped, and dead.  I am not kidding I have a friend I love to death but she does this.  I go to the gym and my girls go to the gym daycare while I work out.  She told me the other day she would never do that...she doesn't push shit on anyone but I said why?  I love her by the way....(Her kid stays at home).  She said I don't know those people working there.  She could be rapped or hurt.  That never crossed my mind!!  Ummm cameras, people work there, this is LA Fitness people.  Parents that follow their children every step they do.  I see this in the gym a lot.  The Little Gym.  I have two kids and just me, some parents have one kid and four adults.  Just boggles me I guess.

Every parent means love and that is what this is all about but what is too much?  What is right?  What is normal?  Every parent just wants their child/children to be loved and to produce productive happy whole children.

I would say some of the time I do what I want.  Some of the time I use my gut and some of the time I listen to my family and elders on what they did.  I really like learning what my family did and what my kids grandparents did.  They all turned out.  What did you do?  

I don't worry about when my darlings move to a big girl beds (even though they are now sharing a big queen mattress on the ground).  I am NOT saying it works but that is what I am trying now.  Or being able to count to 100, learn their letters, numbers, read, and learn to potty all the time.  How many adults in my family can't count or use the potty on their own or read?  None. So I know it takes time and they will learn these things.  

I DO worry about their Education.  I am crazy about that!  I don't know why but it is what it is.  Education leads you to a great life.  This is my opinion.  I worry about are my kids happy?  Socially correct?  Confident?  From what I see they have this social ability I never had until I was forced to be as an adult.  I am lucky for that.  I am grateful.  

I truly believe the confidence you give your kids is the best you can do for them.  Putting them in an enviroment of love, happiness, and devotion to education.  I work personally so hard and work so much and stressed out to the max.  I don't want that for my girls.

 

When is pushing them too much?  I want my girls to do well in school and work hard and get into the right classes/schools...but when does it go too far?  Will my girls end up in a job that is too stressful and makes them miserable or just school that is too stressful and makes them unhappy and stressed out?  When are we suppose to let our kids be kids?  I certainly want them to do better than me but when is it too much?  

I have no idea if Kirra and Baili will be beyond brilliant,  go to top notch schools, and make millions of dollars as lawyers or doctors or whatever thier little hearts leads them to do.  I want all of this for them but I more than any of those things, I want them to be HEALTHY, happy, and to love others as they are loved.  To always be close with their Mommy.  I want them to do what makes them happy and to be whole soul beings, to be happy, to love others as they do themselves.  And of course to go potty on her own, get dressed alone, and to count to 100.  Baby steps we are only 3.  I am not a perfect parent, I don't have perfect kids, but I am trying to do what I think is best for my girls.  I don't pry how others raise their children so to all my fellow parents out there, no one has the right answer, we are just all trying to do what we think is right mixed up (if we like it or not) with how our family raised us.

If your child/children are higher than mine or can count faster or more, if they can find AZ on the map faster than mine, etc.  I raise my glass of wine to you.  I congratulate you.  This doesn't mean they will have a better job or go to a better school in the future.  Every child has their own pace to learning.  Some of the best Albert Einstein didn't speak until age 5 and was in disabled classes.  All I am saying I do my best and I pray my kids will end up happy, smart, and do well for themselves.  I am very tired of the who does what best?  This isn't a competition.  At least not in my books.   I will just do my best and go from there.  If you know me you know Baili goes to more doctors, therapists, and school in a year than most do in a lifetime, but she is doing this for a reason.  I am not pushing that on anyone.  Just saying.  If we want to talk preemie well that is a whole other post that most don't understand anyhow.

With Love,

The Mama